中譯英｜朱自清《背影》節選

【原文】

我說道，“爸爸，你走吧。”他望車外看了看，說，“我買幾個橘子去。你就在此地，不要走動。”我看那邊月臺的柵欄外有幾個賣東西的等著顧客。走到那邊月臺，須穿過鐵道，須跳下去又爬上去。父親是一個胖子，走過去自然要費事些。我本來要去的，他不肯，只好讓他去。我看見他戴著黑布小帽，穿著黑布大馬褂，深青布棉袍，蹣跚地走到鐵道邊，慢慢探身下去，尚不大難。可是他穿過鐵道，要爬上那邊月臺，就不容易了。他用兩手攀著上面，兩腳再向上縮；他肥胖的身子向左微傾，顯出努力的樣子。這時我看見他的背影，我的淚很快地流下來了。

【參考譯文】

“Papa, it’s time,” said I. He looked out of the window, and replied, “I’ll get you some oranges. You just wait here, and don’t wander far.” I saw several vendors waiting for customers outside the railings of another platform. To get there one needs to cross the tracks, jumping down to the ditch and then climbing up. It’s hard work for a plump man like my dad. I offered to go, but he insisted and I had to accede. He was wearing a black cloth hat and a big black cloth coat and a deep green cotton robe. I watched him stagger to the side of the platform. It was easier for him to lean forward and get down. But it was hard for him to climb up the platform on the other side. He had to drag himself up with both hands clinging to the top and feet huddling upward. His fat body tipped slightly leftward, exerting all his strength. Watching him from behind, I cannot hold back my tears any more.

【張培基先生譯】

I said, “Dad, you might leave now.” But he looked out of window and said, “I'm going to buy you some tangerines. You just stay here. Don't move around.” I caught sight of several vendors waiting for customers outside the railings beyond a platform. But to reach that platform would require crossing the railway track and doing some climbing up and down. That would be a strenuous job for father, who was fat. I wanted to do all that myself, but he stopped me, so I could do nothing but let him go. I watched him hobble towards the railway track in his black skullcap, black cloth mandarin jacket and dark blue cotton-padded cloth long gown. He had little trouble climbing down the railway track, but it was a lot more difficult for him to climb up that platform after crossing the railway track. His hands held onto the upper part of the platform, his legs huddled up and his corpulent body tipped slightly towards the left, obviously making an enormous exertion. While I was watching him from behind, tears gushed from my eyes.

翻譯組：

JackJan，實踐出真知

校對組：

Rachel，學理工科，愛跳芭蕾，熱愛文藝的非典型翻譯

Ithil，男，胡辣湯愛好者，世界盃冠軍、三星阿根廷球迷

解析組：

Rachel，學理工科，愛跳芭蕾，熱愛文藝的非典型翻譯

【翻譯解析】

朱自清先生的散文語言很平實，娓娓道來，但也確實有點“散”。所以在翻譯的時候，不能也這麼散，而是要保持英語的邏輯性，不能完全跟著原文的節奏走。

1、“你就在此地，不要走動”

其實這句話也是又重複的，中文不覺得有問題，但英文還是會有囉嗦的含義。you stay here and do not go elsewhere.如果完全按照字面意思來翻譯，我覺得很生硬的。如果兩句稍微不一樣，可能英文讀起來會更舒服。

2、“須跳下去又爬上來”