逼耐撕｜論留學生如何和自己的第一個大學室友相愛相殺

馬上一大波中國留學生就要作為Freshman開始第一年的留學生活了，有沒有一點小激動呢，你們一定對未來的生活充滿了想象，請同時也做好一些心理準備，因為留學生活完全可以用“水深火熱”來形容！

Linda桑在留學之前完全沒有住過宿舍，在留學第一年才體驗了跟別人一起生活，

我們一行7個人住在一個大的apartment裡面。一年的群居生活，可以用荒廢時日來形容。

第二年，體驗夠了群體生活的我，決定一個人住。開始休養生息，好好做人，告訴自己一定要好好學習，天天向上！

第三年，遇到了人生當中的精神支柱，我最好的朋友，她叫菜菜。

在正式開始跟大家分享和室友相處的Tips之前，有句忠告必須說：你希望自己遇到怎樣的室友，首先你得先成為那個怎樣的人。畢竟，

下面正式開始分享會

1. 關於Request to be roommates.

美國好多大學都是支援學生在申請宿舍的時候這樣做的，你可以選擇和上學之前就認識的好朋友當室友。這真是一個貼心的想法。

不過一定有好多小朋友特別想體驗一下和美國同學當室友的感覺，覺得這樣既新鮮，又更容易瞭解一個新的文化。我不說這是too young too simple，但如果你選擇這麼做的話，請一定要做好心理準備. 因為你可以算一下，如果你讓學校隨機分配室友的話，你室友和你性格和睦、生活作息規律和你一樣、愛好興趣相投、個性你還特喜歡，這些條件都滿足的機率是多少呢？一般的大U一屆都幾千人，你自己算吧. 所以如果你選擇去接受這樣一個挑戰，請做好心理準備，並且做好以下幾個tips (他們絕對是本人用血淚換來的經驗啊!!)

2. 他那麼做是不是故意的？

你睡覺的時候，你室友半夜回來，還在放音樂；

你睡著了，他帶好幾個朋友進來有說有笑，還TM吃披薩；

你學習的時候，他一定要打電話麼？

有時候你真的懷疑他是不是故意讓你不舒服的。美國學生從小的成長經歷讓他們很多人都比較自我，可能好多中國同學剛來的時候真的很不適應，覺得他非常不忍讓、不懂得考慮別人的感受. 但美國同學邏輯不是這樣的，他們會想：你既然沒抱怨、沒跟我說不能這樣做，就說明你很comfortable with it. 所以千萬不要因為他們不能讓你容忍的行為而義憤填膺、甚至去採取報復手段. 這真的是文化的不同，不要因為不瞭解就去judge室友的品行，導致說話像吃了槍藥、關係僵化…

3. 他做了讓你十分不爽的事情，怎麼辦？

比如你覺得室友帶著“異性朋友”回來留宿，你學習的時候從來都不考慮要安靜…

記住，要微笑…一定要像聊天一樣去抱怨…千萬千萬不要發火.

你也千萬不要想著一時忍忍算了，一定要禮貌、理智的說，而不是吵…你可以自己想一下，有人跟你抱怨你所做的啥事，若果他跟你吵的話，你會聽他的麼？就算為了面子，也想吵回去，甚至有揍他一頓的衝動吧…如果他和顏悅色地跟你說呢，你會好意思不聽麼？他也一樣…要好好說，讓他不好意思不聽你的，他也會更尊重和佩服你的理智，而不是讓魔鬼一樣的衝動徹底毀掉你的個人形象…

4. 室友？朋友？

室友一定是你的好朋友嗎？可以告訴你，對大多數人來說，沒這麼幸運。也許他只是someone who happens to share a room with you. 所以不要對他的expectation太高. 但college裡好多事不是隻有兩個極端的，不是好朋友，就一定要互不相容麼，肯定不至於. 如果你沒那麼幸運，室友恰好不是你朋友那type的，那就努力和他做一個關係很不錯的acquitance吧.

5. Conclusion words及本人的經歷

反正事情就是這樣，和一個和你性格、文化、背景十分不一樣的人能成功相處一年（當然裡面有點磕磕碰碰是一定的），你會很佩服自己的，這是及有成就感的，可能和CS作業所有test cases pass的成就感相當吧…當然request to be roommates的同學可能就體驗不到這種經歷帶來的成就感了.

下面小編奉上美國人寫的室友相處之道哦~~

美式思維更直接~

1. Be clear from the beginning.

Do you know in advance that you hate it when someone hits the snooze button fifteen times every morning? That you're a neat freak? That you need ten minutes to yourself before talking to anyone after you wake up? Let your roommate know as soon as you can about your little quirks and preferences. It's not fair to expect him or her to pick up on them right away, and communicating what you need is one of the best ways to eliminate problems before they become problems.

2. Address things when they're little.

Is your roommate always forgetting her stuff for the shower, and taking yours? Are your clothes being borrowed faster than you can wash them? Addressing things that bug you while they're still little can help your roommate be aware of something she may not otherwise know. And addressing little things is much easier than addressing them after they've become big.

3. Respect your roommate's stuff.

This may seem simple, but it's probably one of the biggest reasons why roommates experience conflict. Don't think he'll mind if you borrow his cleats for a quick soccer game? For all you know, you just stepped over an uncrossable line. Don't borrow, use, or take anything without getting permission first.

4. Be careful of who you bring into your room — and how often.

You may love having your study group into your room. But your roommate may not. Be mindful of how often you bring people over. If your roommate studies best in the quiet, and you study best in a group, can you alternate who hits the library and who gets the room?

5. Lock the door and windows.

This may seem like it has nothing to do with roommate relationships, but how would you feel if your roommate's laptop got stolen during the ten seconds it took you to run down the hall? Or vice versa?

6. Be friendly, without expecting to be best friends.

Don't go into your roommate relationship thinking that you are going to be best friends for the time you're at school. It may happen, but expecting it sets both of you up for trouble. You should be friendly with your roommate but also make sure you have your own social circles.

7. Be open to new things.

Your roommate may be from someplace you've never heard of. They may have a religion or lifestyle that is completely different from your own. Be open to new ideas and experiences, especially as it to relates to what your roommate brings into your life. That's why you went to college in the first place, right?!

8. Be open to change.

You should expect to learn and grown and change during your time at school. And the same should happen to your roommate, if all goes well. As the semester progresses, realize things will change for both of you. Be comfortable addressing things that unexpectedly come up, setting new rules, and being flexible to your changing environment.

9. Address things when they're big.

You may not have been totally honest with tip #2. Or you may suddenly find yourself with a roommate who goes wild after being shy and quiet the first two months. Either way, if something gets to be a big problem quickly,deal with it as soon as you can.

10. If nothing else, follow the Golden Rule.

Treat your roommate like you'd like to be treated. No matter what your relationship is at the end of the year, you can take comfort knowing you acted like an adult and treated your roommate with respect.

另，贈送一條黃金為人處世之道