這是因為，所有關係都難免有不愉快和分歧，有時這種問題還很嚴重。在發生大大小小的分歧時，維持關係的要訣是相信你們的關係勝過一切。正是出於這種信念和相互承諾，雙方才願意坐下來解決問題，共渡難關。和諧的關係需要雙方做出承諾。如果雙方都相信對方的真誠，也做出了真誠的努力，那麼就可能重歸於好。如果雙方既不相信也沒有行動，關係就沒有好轉的機會。在個人關係中，堅信並證明你們的情義超過一切，那就是真愛。
當然，雙方相識之初，不可能把彼此放在首位，也沒有相互承諾，因為關係還未經檢驗。正因如此，你需要拿出信心和行動，並觀察對方是否也這樣做。當然，如果雙方的關係出現了嚴重問題， 威脅到關係本身，信心就不管用了。因此，在面對分歧必須做出重大抉擇時，你需要認真思考：是你們的關係更重要，還是自己的想法更重要？你的最終決定將會增強或削弱你們的關係。
That’s because in all relationships there will be bad times and disagreements including very big and important ones, and what is required to sustain relationships through those bad times and large and small disagreements is the belief that no issue is more important than the relationship. It is that belief and the mutual demonstrated commitment to it that creates the willingness to work things out so that the bad times and the disagreements are gotten through together. In order to have a great relationship, each party needs to give that type of commitment and to see the other give it. If you both believe hard enough that that’s true and operate as though it is true, it will probably become true, and if you don’t believe it’s true, or you don’t act as though it’s true, it doesn’t have a chance of becoming true. In personal relationships, the belief and demonstration that nothing is more important than the relationship is true love.
Of course, in the early stage of a relationship there is no reason to believe that nothing is more important than the relationship and that the mutual commitments are there because that hasn’t been well tested. Because of that, you just have to have faith that it’s true and act as if it’s true and then see if the other person does the same. And of course, just the belief that the relationship is more important than the issues will not matter if the issues are really more important than the relationship. So, when facing those challenging bad times and disagreements in a relationship, and when making those important calls of what’s most important, you need to think hard about how important the relationship you have really is relative to how important getting your way is. The decisions you make at those times either strengthen your relationship or weaken it.
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《每日原則》為瑞·達利歐(Ray Dalio) 原創，
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