當發生爭執時，雙方須暫時放下爭執，冷靜商量出一個共同認可的相處原則，然後照此原則處理分歧。以後出現同樣情況時： （a）堅持按商量好的原則辦，或者（b）修改原則。而在不確定時， 雙方都退一步，不要刺激對方。畢竟，如果你讓對方開心，那麼對方也會讓你開心，這樣才有一個良好的關係。指責對方“你本該如何”是徒勞的。不停嘮叨“你本該這樣做、那樣做”，而不學著換位思考，就會讓關係慢慢破裂（除非你或對方樂意屈服）。
When you are in one of those disagreements where the sides are stuck and unable to agree, step out of the disagreement for the moment to see if you can establish an agreed-upon principle about how you should be with each other. Then go back into the disagreement and be that way, keeping in mind your new principle. In the future a) operate by that principle, or b) modify the principle in the same way. Second, when in doubt, give each other slack rather than be prickly. At the end of the day, you will have a good relationship if you make the other person happy and they make you happy, and scolding “should haves” don’t help. Chances are that repeatedly and angrily scolding the other with “you should have done this,” especially without empathetically considering the other’s perspective, will lead to the loss of the relationship (unless you are a person, or you are in a relationship with a person, who is comfortable being subjugated).
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《每日原則》為瑞·達利歐(Ray Dalio) 原創，
《原則》團隊翻譯，歡迎分享，轉載請註明出處。